Sorry

Sorry for not posting here for a while.

Ill try to get it started soon.

Theres just a lot going on in my life right now and the past year.

Just check back every once in a while.

Another Update on my life ...

What to tell, what to tell....



Its all good, for He is with me.


<< warning : i generalise a lot in this post.
But either youve been in such a situation once, you are in such a situation now, or you will be in such a situation some day. If not, then you must be the only perfect human I know >>

I wonder why there are so many tv shows in which we can view other peoples problems.
Dont we have enough of our own ? Do we take pleasure in seeing others having problems ?
Do we wanna learn from those people, or do we look at it because then we can forget our own problems for a little while ? Is it that we can balance it out better because of what we see ?
(the "well thats way worse then my problem so i shouldnt complain" attitude)
Why do we care so much about others and feel with them in the problems theyre in, we use that information to think about how we would handle it if it was you, while we dont stop and think about our own problems ?

And it gets even weirder if we take in account that most people are selfcentered.
Especially the ones who do act like i just described.
We are so worried about our own little world, and still we wonder how these days so many children are Autistic.

Everyone knows there's a spiritual world. Some dont realise it that much. Others don't want to see it. But in the end, we all feel moods, we all feel tension hanging in the air, we all feel love.
We know we have a soul, but its nowhere to be found in our psysical body. Hmm... i wonder where else it could be then : in a spiritual world. No you cant see it with your eyes, or feel it with you hands, but we cant see the wind either. Still many people dont want to explore that world.

The bible tells us we are created to his image and in his likeness.
So we look like God. Look around you, we have an urge to love, we have an urge to create.
Like a VCR or a Television. But whats the first thing we do when we have invented something for society : we write a manual. And if something is missing we can always add a chapter later on if thats whats necessary. We even need to do firmware updates every now and then because we messed it up. In the end its not perfect, but its in His likeness.
He too wrote a manual for life. The bible. But even though we find it perfectly normal for us humans to write a manual instead of explaining it personally over and over again, giving the person who reads it a chance to actually learn something at its own pace, we find it odd and weird and stupid when God does it. Why doesnt he say it to me personally ?
If you would receive a letter, in your mailbox or an email, signed 'God', would you actually believe it would be from Him ? No of course not. He would have to give himself a human form right ? So that you 2 would be equal. To talk with Him, man to man. So thats what He did.
Taadaaaa, there was Jesus. But did we believe it ? No. So how on earth would He then contact us ? Only by those who know Him. Those who read His words. Those who hear Him in their hearts. Those who know the spiritual world and feel right at home there, because He's there with them. But do we listen to them : No. Cause theyre not God. Theyre not perfect. They make mistakes.

Thus we close our eyes and pretend its all about us. We're the best we can be. No one can tell us what to do. This world is mine and Ill do what I want to do. We watch those people on tv to see how others have failed, making ourselves feel better about ourselves. Were all standby with solutions for them. Were all thinking : that would never happen to me.
Untill it does happen. And then not only something is terribly wrong in our life.
But our life collapses. And there arent that many people who still want to be there for you.
But no, we wont follow God now. If there was a God, why did he let this happen ?
Besides I cant give Him control over my life, thats something i want to do.
But seriously : if your life has collapsed that way : What are you controlling ?
Did you do it on purpose ? Or did you just not have control in the first place ?
That you denied God to take control, didnt mean instead you gained it.
You just gave it to the second party. Satan. And he wants nothing more, then to keep you from living your life. And keep you from succeeding in the bigger picture.
Life is only a short time. Imagine a rope. Throw one end to the left, one end to the right, and imagine it to go on, on either side, for ever and ever, never finding the end.
Then imaging you grabing a pen and giving the rope a small stripe. A small mark.
Thats how long this life is compared to eternity.
And we may succeed in life, even with help from Satan.
But God wants you to succeed in all eternity.
By giving that small part of it in his hands. He'll never take it.
He wants you to give Him control. He wont live your life.
He just wants to guide it over safe paths.

There's no such thing as a problem. Only a chance for victory.
There's no such thing as an obstacle. Only a new oppertunity.
There's no such thing as a waiting list. Only a chance to learn and be patient.


There's only love and acceptation.

Take a chance. Ask Him to help you in a difficult situation.
And expect Him to help you in ways you wouldnt expect.
What have you got to lose ? The problem is already there ?
Its a win win situation right ? Just try it.... You dont know what you're missing.


I wonder whats on tv....

Bottlecaps and VCR's

Oh place your hands, on my hope,
Run your fingers through my soul,
And the way that I feel right now,
Oh Lord it may go.

You know I cannot hide, from what's inside
So I ask of you to help me through,
I ask of you this thing to do.

Put your hands on, put your hands on.

Never knew dreams could rule my days like this ...

I'm sucked into an alternate reality ...
We humans can all see (in a certain degree) why things happen or where its gonna lead us.
Sometimes even were pain finds its roots...
but the problem is more like something a friend shared recently :
when you have a (see through) bottle of water, and you look at it,
you can see there's water inside .... but you still need to take the cap of to get to it.

My problem : I cant take the cap of...
And no one else can do it too... God will teach me how to deal with it alright....
Still at this point i dont even talk about it with anyone.
(Dont try to get me started on this one either. )

I just wake up completely numb because of what I dream ...
Making sure that I wont get much done on a day ...

Sigh ... did i mention life sucks ... ??
Life sucks ... and it doesnt ...
Life the way it once was meant is great ....

Like cola :
Once there was this guy who invented cola ...
a special chemical mixture : It was great.
Then at a certain point people thought they could get more out of it.
So they changed the formula. Now its 'new' cola.
Or as I like to call it : sloppy river water extract....

All im saying is : if its good : why mess with the formula ?
Why dont we generally ever learn from our mistakes ?
And when we do, we make up entirely new ones.

When your VCR doesnt work :
Guys first try it out themselves...
But eventually you take out the manual and start to work from that.
THAT STEP NEVER TAKES US FOREVER THOUGH !!

When will we stop trying to do things all by ourselves ??
When will we just take out the manual (read:Bible)
Start to do things the way they were planned,
and start to use things the way the way they were meant....

Thats why mostly the optimistic and hopeful happy people around you,
mostly are christians, or live by biblical values.
They're not happy and optimistic ALL THE TIME
but at least they know how to live life in a way that they know how to deal with things.
and how to enjoy the small things in life. Too see the things that matter in life.

I could talk forever ...
But it wont get the cap of ....

AAAaaaarrrgghhh ....

I hate stereotypes....
Why is there always such a push from society to blend in and be like everyone else ...
Be like the majority ...
Why isnt it enough when i'm just plain and simple ... me ...
It took me years to get a glimpse of what I am all about. Im just getting used to enjoying life in many facets and trying to find my way in how i handle things and just put my signature on whatever i touch with my presence. And no matter how well people know you or how good things are going, despite it all people have the urge to ignore that and decide its better to fit in and act in a way that people dont gossip behind your back because they dont understand. Instead of asking things they tend to guess, and instead of just going with whatever life brings them they judge you like they're responsible for your actions so they start to tell you what to do and stuff ... TIME OUT !!

Im so FRIGGIN' frustrated by this subject. And im really getting pissed off at this point of day. All my life ive been fighting to earn my place in society. I got picked on when I was a kid. And there was no reason at all, in my case, to pick on me. I wasnt that odd you know. And i tried to live up to the expectations of the bully's and i found out, it cant be done. Cause its not about who you are or what you do. Finally ive developed a personality of my own, one im proud of, and then the above described attitude keeps attacking me from diffrent sides....

Why ? Why does that happen ...
Whatever reason it is : it sucks big time ...
Plain and Simple : Im sick of it ...

Time is of the essence ...

Time .... on the weirdest things we encounter in this life ...
Time can : be lost (but never found), made (but never broken), slip through our fingers (but never fill our hands), be up (but never down), fly (but never land)....

When we need more time we have less
When we dont need time it seems to last forever

If it has no begin and no ending because time will be there 'till eternity;
Why measure it ?
If it has a begin and an ending would we still care how long it was when we see the results of the measurement ? will we even be able to past the point were time stops, cause if there's a continuing thing in the afterlife, lets say heaven, wouldnt we be able to measure that too...

How fast does time pass ?
If it makes sense to say that time passes, then it must also make sense to ask how fast time passes. Since that question doesn't make sense, time doesn't pass.

In daily life we divide time into three parts: past, present, and future.
The grammatical structure of language revolves around this fundamental distinction. Reality is associated with the present moment. The past we think of having slipped out of existence, whereas the future is even more shadowy, its details still unformed. In this simple picture, the "now" of our conscious awareness glides steadily onwards, transforming events that were once in the unformed future into the concrete but fleeting reality of the present, and thence relegating them to the fixed past....
( if you didnt notice yet, I'm applying for the job of the Architect in the Matrix :P :P )

The last few weeks i had loads of stuff to do, and since i didnt have a job until recently i'd say that i'd have plenty of time to make it all work, yet, not half of it is done so far, and I keep running into new things that either delay me, or adds some more to the pile...

Why do i always feel bored when there are loads of things to be done, but just dont feel like it, but then when i feel like doing stuff again because all the work is done, theres nothing left to do, so i gather up some things to do, and again the cycle repeats itself.

As a guy... I must say ..... why dont i have a remote control for time itself.